Herman the Worm
by Jo-ness
Summary: It's .. HERMAN THE WORM! Some weird parody of the Herman the Worm song. :D Reasons why he ate his family members, such n such .. fic in 1st person. Kinda like a journal or something. e.e R&R! ( Warning: Contains cannibalism, psycho stuff, and world destru


Okay, I do NOT own the " Herman the Worm " song. :D .. I think this applies to copyright laws, not sure. I was just bored one night and .. started writing. e_e Soo .. read and review. :D Flames accepted. Laughing hysterically and calling me an idiot is accepted. Heck, calling me anything is accepted. e.e I dun care. Well, on with the fic!  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
I am Herman.  
  
Herman the worm.  
  
Yes, THAT Herman.  
  
Hnn .. I'm so full.  
  
And one day, Jo was sitting on her fence post, chewing her bubble gum and playing with her yo-yo.  
  
She as making this loud, annoying smacking noise. I wanted to smack her or something. I was gonna go up to her and tell her how annoying she was.  
  
I squirmed over to her, and she asked me the most DUMBEST question I've ever heard.  
  
" Herman! Whaaaaaaaaaaaat happened?? "  
  
What kind of dumb question was that? I mean, isn't it obvious?  
  
" Well, DUH, " I retorted. " I ate my brother! " Then I squirmed away.  
  
Yes, I ate my brother. I'm sorry.  
  
I couldn't help it. I was so hungry... and he looked so tasty. And he WAS tasty, too.  
  
I rubbed my tummy. ... Er, somehow. Since I was a worm, I didn't have any hands. But, that's besides the point.  
  
I don't think my mom, dad, sister, and other brother know that I ate Jimmy. I hope they don't find out. ... Or I'll have to eat them, too.  
  
So, I squirmed on home. The sun was shining. .. I hope I don't get eaten by a bird. Well, if I do, then I won't feel so guilty from eating Jimmy. I sighed.  
  
" Mrf mrrrn! "  
  
What was that?  
  
" Get me outta heeeeereeeeee .. "  
  
.....  
  
There was a muffled noise coming from .. inside my belly! Jim was alive!  
  
Hahaha, too bad for him. It's gonna hurt more since he's alive. My stomach acids weel bern im douuuun. Ahahaha. [ A/N: x.x;; Do worms even HAVE stomachs? I forgot. ;.; Ahh.. Bad memories from dissecting worm in seventh grave. x_X *Dies.* ]  
  
" Heeerman, I'm telling mooooom-- gurgle, gurgle.. "  
  
I giggled insanely, screaming at my stomach. " SUCKS FER YOU, DON'T IT!?! HAHAHAHA!! YOU ARE NOW A PART OF MEEEEEEEEEE!! " I squirmed around in circles, going a whole five miles per hour. Woah, getting a little dizzy..  
  
The string of ants that were walking .. er, crawling by stopped and looked at me in the WEIRDEST way. What the hell was their problem!?  
  
The first ant stopped, and attempted to say something to me. " Herman! Whaaaaaaaaaat happened?? "  
  
I stopped squirming, and stared at the ignorant little ant. I oughta .. roll over it or something. It was so puuuuny. " Well DUH!! " The ants were ALMOST as annoying as JO. " I ATE MY BROTHER!! " I laughed insanely again, squirming away quickly.  
  
" ........ "  
  
Hahaha, that'll show those stupid ants! They didn't know what they were getting themselves into, DID THEY!?! NO! THEY DIDN'T. I think I'll eat them next. Erm, well .. anyway..  
  
So! Today was going great, yep. I think I like this cannibalism diet. Jimmy tasted a lot better than that damned fried dirt my mom cooked all the time. You wanna know what I ate before? Okay.  
  
Fried dirt.  
Baked dirt.  
Toasted dirt.  
Boiled dirt.  
Steamed dirt.  
Dehydrated dirt.  
Mud.  
Dirt cakes.  
Dirt chips.  
Dirt-in-a-can.  
Dirt nogg.  
Grilled dirt.  
Powdered dirt.  
Dirt-kabobs.  
Frozen dirt.  
Organic dirt.  
Recycled dirt.  
Fruit-flavored dirt.  
Wind-blown dirt.  
Dirt paste.  
Dirt cookies.  
  
.. And any other dirt-related product.  
  
Yep. That's what we ate. So you can see why I wanted to eat my little brother instead, eh?  
  
So, I'm squirming along. Yeah. Squirm, squirm. This is basically what I do every day. Squirm ..  
  
" .. Herman! "  
  
" Huh? " I looked over to where I heard my name being called.  
  
.....  
  
Crap. It was Jimmy's girlfriend.  
  
" Herman, have you seen Jimmy? I can't find him anywhere! I'm worried. " The other worm started crying.  
  
" Uh.. I'm sure he'll turn up. " And with that, I squirmed off. Yeah, haha .. he'll turn up when I POOP HIM OUT. AHAHAHAHAHA .. I started laughing insanely again, and made my way home.  
  
I was hungry again.  
  
Thomas, my other brother, was .. laying [ A/N: x.x? .. ] by the worm hole. He looked up at me and glared.  
  
" .. What's YOUR problem? " I stared back at him.  
  
" What did you do with Jimmy? " He glanced back and forth from my .. stomach.. to my face. [ A/N: x.x.. Do worms HAVE faces? ]  
  
" I have no idea what you're talking abou-- " And with this, I gave the loudest burp I ever made in my life.  
  
" .. YOU ATE JIMMY! DIDN'T YOU!? DIDN'T YOOOOOOOUUUUU!?!?! " He ran.. er.. squirmed at me, looking like he was about to commit homicide.  
  
I wrestled him ( somehow ), and tied him up, throwing him in a hole under a rock. " HAHAHAHA .. " I laughed at him. He was soooo puuuuuuny ..  
  
" I'M TELLING MOM! " He wiggled around a bit, trying to get loose.  
  
" Hahaha! SHE'LL NEVER KNOW! CAUSE IN THE MORNING, I'MMA EAT YOU TOOOOOOOO!!! AAAHHHHHAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!, " and squirmed off into the hole.  
  
This cannibalism stuff isn't so bad, though. Besides, no one cares about those two anyway. They're just a waste of space.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Soo .. e.e.. like so far? I'm deciding on making Herman some psycho worm that ends up eating the whole-- ::Stops.:: x.X .. Can't give away the ending. e_e Uwahaha ..   
Firetruck ::Goes by.::  
o_O;;; .. ::Hides matches.:: x.x I didn't do it.  
Gasoline can ::Tips over.::  
.. Eheh. e.e Whoops.  
Well, er .. review! x.X .. Please. Whee .. 


End file.
